“God is keeping careful watch over us and the future… Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.” -1 Peter 5a, 7 [MSG]
As the year of 2011 breathes its last few breaths, I reflect. I am so grateful to God for this year. It is the year that he has shifted our plans. I always knew this year would come; it was only a matter of time before God revealed the next step in his plan for our lives.
Since before Logan and I have been married, we have known we want to live overseas for a season of our lives. We were always on the 5 year plan of having kids, and our plan in moving back to Salina was to get involved with Christian Challenge, pay off our student loans, move overseas for a year or two, and then come back to this town. While Logan did full-time staff for Challenge and I taught, we could settle in and start our family. A great plan!
As this vision was being formed, we were flexible. I am still being flexible. In a lot of areas of my life, I am not flexible. But this, this plan we made, I knew it would get changed. I was okay with that.
This was the year that God flexed. After many conversations, we decided that we should change our plan because Logan felt the overwhelming need to be more involved with Challenge. So in August, he began working part time at Chuck Henry Sales. This was a huge shift. We praise God that Logan’s family has been so supportive of this decision. It has been one of the hardest decisions to make, but it’s been one of the best we’ve made as a married couple as well.
Because of this decision, our plans of paying off student loans quickly have been changed. Until Logan has a full support team, we’ll have to wait on putting more money toward our student loans. This plan we had has been swiftly swapped for a new one. When does our overseas adventure begin? Is it still what God would have us do? The programs we were looking at for couples to live overseas for a 1-2 year time period have dissolved in this non-robust economy. How long do we wait?
This waiting period we are in has raised a million questions, and thrown off “the plan” in a very big way. With the whole story laid out above, needless to say, I no longer have a clear picture of what my future looks like. Instead of being pushed forward, I feel like I am floating.
Enter 1 Peter. I know these verses. But the timing of reading the first section of chapter one is perfection. God, the dude who spun this whole world into motion, is carefully watching over us, and our future. I know that the next part in the quote is true about the coming season in my life. It’s a faith ride that I’ve agreed to climb onto. We’re not really suffering, but I think this is just a fire that God has put us in. It’s not about the accolades I can hang on my wall when the blazes finally clear. What’s more important is where my faith-meter stands when the flames are extinguished.
I know there are greater things in store for us. What these things are, I know not. But the mystery of what that might include makes me want to seek God all the more diligently to find answers to our questions of how we will be used of him in our lifetime.