Tonight I’m thinking through the story of the son who left home for bigger and better opportunities.
Why did I leave my Father’s home? Shiny things. In my own life, that translates to catchy chores (ha ha), unstoppable books, and irregular schedules. I leave the Father nearly every day just to chase after these things. Why? Because I feel like I can get those things out of my system and then relax and rest in Him later. The problem is that when I have this attitude, later rarely actually materializes.
Why do I come back to the home of my Father? This mostly happens only after Ive chased those catchy scenarios and found that I am angry, poor, empty-hearted, overstimulated, and unable to really get anywhere with what I’ve got when I’m stripped of the Father’s resources. I want grace.
What emotions do I feel when I see my Father again after being gone so long? What is my reaction to his kindness? Immediately I feel the guilt that I’m laying upon myself because of what a turd I’ve been. I feel shameful that I would dismiss my Father to go chase dreams. Then, perhaps I feel the fear of God within me, because I don’t know how Father will react to my coming home. Will he accept me? Will he challenge me? The answer to that is both. Because the Father is so full of joy and grace, he has been waiting for me to come home so that he can celebrate me again! I also feel a sense of sadness. Feelings that I need to get something to make up for the lost time I squandered.
Many of us know the ending to this story. The Father shows his character by meeting with me and treating me like I hadn’t been gone at all. His blanket of grace extends so far, that no one could possibly run out of blanket to confess on.
Praise be to the Father for accepting me back home, even when I don’t deserve acceptance!